Between working two jobs and the intense spiritual work of the High Holidays, I haven’t had a lot of mental space in which to contemplate the Very Big Thing happening in less than three weeks.
I’m feeling a greater gut-level understanding of the enormity of it all. Some metaphors that are much more real to me, much less metaphoric, than they were only weeks ago: It’s like being reborn — into a Jewish body. It’s like getting married. It’s like becoming a citizen of another country — a big, complex, loving, squabbling, impossibly ancient country that is about to embrace me as a brother, as one of its children.
The non-metaphorical things loom large as well. The water, the nakedness, the little lance that will be going into my willie to extract a drop of blood. Yes, I’m doing that.